I recently attended my high school reunion. I debated going as my recollection of high school is that I really didn’t enjoy it. I was awkward (in my opinion) and didn’t have much confidence.
Back then my worries would put me into a teenage emotional tailspin.
- Will someone else have the same prom dress as me?
- How come nobody from my own school ever asks me out?
- What if I get called on in class and I don’t know the answer?
- What if one of the popular kids talks to me and I say something stupid?
I thought about these worries.
Then I laughed. Out loud.
This is what held me back? A dress, dates, saying something stupid. It seemed so important then, but so trivial now.
A prom dress? Seriously, I’m lucky to get through a day without baby spit-up on my clothes.
And I dated. Did it really matter what school the guy attended? No. I’m happily married now.
Odds are I wouldn’t know all the answers. Wasn’t I attending school to learn? And no one knows everything. And the people that they think they do are SO annoying!
Was I that concerned about what someone who was popular might think of me? Really?! They’re just people.
Why did I spend so much time worrying about what others thought of me? Unless I’m being mean to someone, which I don’t think I’m a mean person, I don’t really care about what others think of me. And I am in love with this new-found attitude!
So I went to my high school reunion with the confidence I lacked in my teen years. I was excited to see friends I hadn’t seen since big hair ruled.
I remembered the fun times I had.
- Watching movies in a friend’s basement. For some reason, I’m specifically remembering a viewing of Hamlet with Mel Gibson. And I can’t stand Mel Gibson.
- Driving in a Pinto listening to Inna Gada Davida on 8-track. (This was in the early 90s…long after Pintos, Iron Butterfly, and 8-tracks.)
- Listening to Pearl Jam and Soundgarden and discussing the talent of Eddie Vedder and Chris Cornell. And the potential of becoming Mrs. Cornell. (I’m not Mrs. Cornell, by the way.)
- Insisting my friends watch “Last of the Mohicans” because Daniel Day-Lewis was a superb actor. (I still stand by this statement.)
(Just noticed I watched a lot of movies and listened to a lot of music!)
- Watching the sunset over Lake Michigan while having a Bonfire.
- Playing mini-golf several times a week during the summer. (Yet my putting game still sucks.)
- Riding my bike to the lake where I would eventually burn my pale skin in the sun. (Now that was just plain dumb! I’ve since embraced my pale skin.)
So maybe it wasn’t all that bad. Maybe I didn’t dislike high school as much as I thought. If I can recall fond memories of events 20 years ago when I can’t even remember what I had for dinner the night before, I must have enjoyed myself.
So to me 20 years ago:
Worrying about things out of your control is a waste of time.
Living in the moment is when memories are created.
Memories of Soundgarden and sunsets.