A Letter to Myself 20 Years Ago

I recently attended my high school reunion. I debated going as my recollection of high school is that I really didn’t enjoy it. I was awkward (in my opinion) and didn’t have much confidence.

Back then my worries would put me into a teenage emotional tailspin.

  • Will someone else have the same prom dress as me?
  • How come nobody from my own school ever asks me out?
  • What if I get called on in class and I don’t know the answer?
  • What if one of the popular kids talks to me and I say something stupid?

I thought about these worries.

Then I laughed. Out loud.

This is what held me back? A dress, dates, saying something stupid. It seemed so important then, but so trivial now.

A prom dress? Seriously, I’m lucky to get through a day without baby spit-up on my clothes.

And I dated. Did it really matter what school the guy attended? No. I’m happily married now.

Odds are I wouldn’t know all the answers. Wasn’t I attending school to learn? And no one knows everything. And the people that they think they do are SO annoying!

Was I that concerned about what someone who was popular might think of me? Really?! They’re just people.

Why did I spend so much time worrying about what others thought of me? Unless I’m being mean to someone, which I don’t think I’m a mean person, I don’t really care about what others think of me. And I am in love with this new-found attitude!

So I went to my high school reunion with the confidence I lacked in my teen years. I was excited to see friends I hadn’t seen since big hair ruled.

I remembered the fun times I had.

  • Watching movies in a friend’s basement. For some reason, I’m specifically remembering a viewing of Hamlet with Mel Gibson. And I can’t stand Mel Gibson.
  • Driving in a Pinto listening to Inna Gada Davida on 8-track. (This was in the early 90s…long after Pintos, Iron Butterfly, and 8-tracks.)
  • Listening to Pearl Jam and Soundgarden and discussing the talent of Eddie Vedder and Chris Cornell. And the potential of becoming Mrs. Cornell. (I’m not Mrs. Cornell, by the way.)
  • Insisting my friends watch “Last of the Mohicans” because Daniel Day-Lewis was a superb actor. (I still stand by this statement.)

(Just noticed I watched a lot of movies and listened to a lot of music!)

  •  Watching the sunset over Lake Michigan while having a Bonfire.
  •  Playing mini-golf several times a week during the summer. (Yet my putting game still sucks.)
  •  Riding my bike to the lake where I would eventually burn my pale skin in the sun. (Now that was just plain dumb! I’ve since embraced my pale skin.)

So maybe it wasn’t all that bad. Maybe I didn’t dislike high school as much as I thought. If I can recall fond memories of events 20 years ago when I can’t even remember what I had for dinner the night before, I must have enjoyed myself.

So to me 20 years ago:

Worrying about things out of your control is a waste of time.

Living in the moment is when memories are created.

Memories of Soundgarden and sunsets.


2 thoughts on “A Letter to Myself 20 Years Ago

  1. Great post! You getter better with each one. It’s all true! I, too, have embraced this new attitude. Life is too short to do otherwise.
    Keep up the good work.


  2. I remember the same thing about attending my high-school reunion. I was so nervous before I went, but had a lot of fun seeing old friends once I got there. Thanks for the post!


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