50 Shades of Anything But Romantic

So I’ve had no desire to read 50 Shades of Grey. The story line doesn’t interest me as I’m not into romance novels. (And I’m by no means a literary snob. I enjoy frivolous novels.) But from what I’ve heard, it doesn’t even sound romantic. I think a man insisting a woman sign a contract to date (or be his sexual partner, slave…whatever) is far from romantic. Guess I have old-fashioned ideas about romance.

Anyway, due to the hype I decided to read a sample of the first 29 pages of the book. Contrary to popular opinion, I wasn’t even the least bit intrigued. Yes, it reminded me of Twilight. And yes, I read them all. I blame it on my hormones as I was seven months pregnant. Let’s face it,  Edward is a stalker. Stalkers are creepy.

But reading the sample pages gave me some idea if I was being too harsh in my criticism. As I read those pages, I noted that Anastasia kept referring to Christian’s long index finger. I think there must have between three and five references in 29 pages to his index finger. (I already deleted the sample from Nook and was unable to count the exact number.) A bit much for 29 pages. And I could see where Christian might start to covet Anastasia.

After the second reference to the index finger, one particular image popped into my head:


Yup. Gollum.

Gollum had abnormally long fingers.

Gollum coveted the ring. {Insert “my precious” in that gravelly, tortured voice.}  Kind of like the way it appeared Christian was going to covet Anastasia.

So I hate to even the mention the work of Tolkien, who is an amazing writer and storyteller, in the same paragraph as E.L. James, but this was my first thought.

And I am by no means comparing the two authors. One is a phenomenal writer. The other, not so much.

So there’s my two cents on 50 Shades of Grey. Is it unfair to critique a book without reading it in its entirety? Absolutely. Do I care? No.

I’m not a book critic. Just a person with a blog.


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